Imposter Syndrome. We used to call it inferiority complex. There’s been a lot written about it in the last few years. It resonates with many, myself included. At a conference I attended, a speaker asked people in the audience to stand up if they had imposter syndrome. Most of the audience stood.
I did a half-stand.
I wanted to stand, because most of the time I am questioning myself. Most of the time I know I understand only a bit of what there is to know about any situation. And I could be wrong.
My inferiority was born of under-parenting, and bullies, and a speech impediment. It was fostered in isolation, in a small, wintery farming community with encyclopedias in the closet instead of Siri and Alexa. I packed it into every closet, knapsack, and relationship I came into.
At the same time, I did not want to stand, because standing to declare my imposter syndrome somehow diminished the work I have done for myself, on myself. Today, I am okay with not knowing. I am okay with imperfection. I am not an imposter. I am a beginner.
One late night, on a beach with a full moon, in one of those moments of clarity the universe grants us, I let the tide sweep away inferiority and self-doubt. I stand for self-worth now. I am worthy. And that’s a syndrome I can live with. #AgileLife